Susumaniello Review: Rugby’s a game played by men with odd-shaped balls

What does this stubby little bottle from Puglia have to do with a sign on my old PE teacher’s door? My Susumaniello wine review, for your perusal…

Mr Snellgrove was one of those sports teachers that endeared himself to you if you loved rugby. And did not if you did not.

He wore shorts in all weathers. He did not like to take football or cricket. Or any sports that I was good at.

See, September to December was Snellgrove season. And he made sure we were out on that rugby field. No matter what.

  • Sir, the pitch is frozen. It’s not.
  • Sir, I forgot me kit. Get an oversized one from the spares.
  • Sir, it’s sheeting rain and gale force winds. What, don’t you like horizontal wet bullets lasering your face? (Does anyone other than you, SMellgrove, I’d say, haha good one Jack, SMellg…CRUNCHED BY A HANDOFF TO THE FACE).

From Year 7 to Year 11, I was the smallest kid.

The kind of small that couldn’t reach the ball in the scrum because the other lads were too big for me to wrap my arms around.

Small as in I used to trip over said oversized rugby top that weighed more than me when wet which was all the time and get his hands stood on by 11-year-old kids with bumfluff and voices that intermittently switched between Barry White and Joe Pasquale.

I’d get picked up and carried with the ball instead of being tackled to the ground, all the while squeezing my eyes shut like Macauley Culkin and wishing for it to be over.

“Good things come in small packages,” my mum would say to me.

I never believed her. Nor did Snellgrove.

The wine, though? Yeah. She’s right this time.

Ok. I got suckered by the bottle. I admit it.

That it was a rare grape I’ve not tried before, produced in my favorite wine-making area of Salento… well. Had to do one of these, didn’t I?

Origin: Salento, Puglia 🇮🇹

Grape: Susumaniello 🍇

Supermarket: Lidl 🇩🇪

Price: £7.49

This is a gem. You know those wines where, as soon as you pour it, it’s dark and concentrated and gives off like a plummy, spicy smell and you know instantly it’s a belter…yeah that. With strong cheese on a salt ‘n’ pepper cracker ok now I’m done.

Also the bottle is boss. Good things come in small packages, right? Right?

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5

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